Santorum 2012

This website is for people who are behind or want to be behind former Pennsylvania senator and current U.S. presidential candidate Rick Santorum. Thanks to you, we were the first Google result for "Santorum 2012" for almost all of the primaries season.

What are we doing? Scouring America's cracks for santorum. Crevices too. In the true spirit of santorum, most of these pictures are taken with the crappiest camera possible. Submit your own and maybe some of the dignity of Santorum's name will rub off on yours.

Go to "About" if you don't understand this website. For other, less literal ventures in bottom feeding, go to JPG Clog, my blog.

     
    
Santorum Over Obama: A Cake
I made this cake to celebrate Santorum’s coming domination of Barack H. O. Bama. The bread butt symbolizes Obama’s base and the cream represents the truth bursting through.
I’ve made this before, however, and it’s normally called a “cream-squeezed butt blast.” If you’re a rye guy like me, you know how deflating it can be when you finally get down to the butt. What you often find in your hands is too hard to save for the morning, too crusty for oil, and too weirdly shaped to put in your mouth. At least that’s how it is with me. Maybe it’s different for you, I don’t know.
Fortunately I have a solution! Just stick some Cookies ‘N’ Cream between the two sides of the bun, heat things up, and have a camp meal that would delight a scoutmaster.

Santorum Over Obama: A Cake

I made this cake to celebrate Santorum’s coming domination of Barack H. O. Bama. The bread butt symbolizes Obama’s base and the cream represents the truth bursting through.

I’ve made this before, however, and it’s normally called a “cream-squeezed butt blast.” If you’re a rye guy like me, you know how deflating it can be when you finally get down to the butt. What you often find in your hands is too hard to save for the morning, too crusty for oil, and too weirdly shaped to put in your mouth. At least that’s how it is with me. Maybe it’s different for you, I don’t know.

Fortunately I have a solution! Just stick some Cookies ‘N’ Cream between the two sides of the bun, heat things up, and have a camp meal that would delight a scoutmaster.

Fried the Salami Part II
Here’s a close-up (click to enlarge). I’ve been feeling the need to “hide the salami” because I’m clearly addicted to it.

Fried the Salami Part II

Here’s a close-up (click to enlarge). I’ve been feeling the need to “hide the salami” because I’m clearly addicted to it.

Fried the Salami Part I
We took the head of a log of salami, pressed mustard seeds into it, and fried it with blue cheese on top. Then we put it next to an uncooked portion of the salami for comparison. The result looks like what I pulled out of a bun on the street in Chelsea a few months ago.

Fried the Salami Part I

We took the head of a log of salami, pressed mustard seeds into it, and fried it with blue cheese on top. Then we put it next to an uncooked portion of the salami for comparison. The result looks like what I pulled out of a bun on the street in Chelsea a few months ago.

Buenos Dairies Part II:
Even the manliest man sometimes just needs to curdle.

Buenos Dairies Part II:

Even the manliest man sometimes just needs to curdle.

Buenos Dairies Part I:
Cottage cheese with a glop of dulce de leche mixed in.

Buenos Dairies Part I:

Cottage cheese with a glop of dulce de leche mixed in.

Mixed frozen yogurt with chocolate sprinkles and a few pieces of Captain Crunch. The perfect yeast confection.

Mixed frozen yogurt with chocolate sprinkles and a few pieces of Captain Crunch. The perfect yeast confection.

At March’s DC Art and Science Evening Rendezvous event at the Keck Center there was free booze and food. Somehow I got ranch dressing on my brownie though, oh no! But, like art and science, the brownie and dressing actually went together pretty well. I had to get a picture with my cell phone. So now when I pack fudge I pack it with the white stuff.

At March’s DC Art and Science Evening Rendezvous event at the Keck Center there was free booze and food. Somehow I got ranch dressing on my brownie though, oh no! But, like art and science, the brownie and dressing actually went together pretty well. I had to get a picture with my cell phone. So now when I pack fudge I pack it with the white stuff.

When cold weather comes from behind, unfairly straddled by warm days, there’s nothing better than a frothy santorum latte. If you have cinnamon handy, just stick your fist in that tube, grab what you can, and plop it into your latte.

When cold weather comes from behind, unfairly straddled by warm days, there’s nothing better than a frothy santorum latte. If you have cinnamon handy, just stick your fist in that tube, grab what you can, and plop it into your latte.

St. Patrick’s Day Santorum Fun Continued
Whatever floats your boat! Get an eyeful of this stout-stained ice cream. It’ll make you scream—with delight!

St. Patrick’s Day Santorum Fun Continued

Whatever floats your boat! Get an eyeful of this stout-stained ice cream. It’ll make you scream—with delight!

St. Patrick’s Day Santorum Fun Part I:
Guiness and vanilla ice cream come together for a messy but satisfying santorum float.
Taken with my cell phone.

St. Patrick’s Day Santorum Fun Part I:

Guiness and vanilla ice cream come together for a messy but satisfying santorum float.

Taken with my cell phone.